DESPAIR

I no longer recognize the image in the mirror,

all things are different nowadays.

Suddenly, time stopped

and I lost my way.
 

I feel as if I died inside.

Everything seems worthless;

I can only see darkness,

and I feel nothing.
 

How can I be so ungrateful?

How can I feel lonely with so many people around?

Yet, how I can pretend?

How can I live, if I feel like I’ve ceased to exist?
 

How do I replace fulfillment with pills?

How can I go on, if I can’t see the path ahead of me?

How do I let go, if I have nothing to hold onto?

How can I give my life meaning, if I can’t find a reason to be?
 

How do I end something I didn’t start?

How do I escape it, if I can’t see it?

How do I express it, if I can’t understand it?

Why can’t I feel?

Nor pain,

or joy,

just emptiness.
 

Is my sould dead?

Did my heart break?

Who am I?

How did I get here?

Where should I go next?

 

By Gaby Fischer